Tags: the flow

Jan13

In The Flow

Posted by admin on 01/13/12  ~  Posted in: Ethan's Thoughts

I don?t have the words for this so that should be stated up front.  They won?t convey the feeling.  I don?t have the art for this so I won?t even bother.  But I?ll do my best with words.  That?s as close as I can get to proper conveyance?although the feeling, the essence really can?t be conveyed, only experienced.  Nonetheless, I?ll do my best.

There is a flow.  It is the flow of the universe.  It is the way of things.  It is now.  It is the past, and the future also.  It is everything.  The flow is what some may call God.  Not me.  That word is too restrictive.  Too many connotations.  Imagine a map of everything.  Every person, every rock, every plant, every star, every atom.  Now imagine that map projected over time, backwards and forwards.  What you have now is a map of everything, for all time.  In that map we all exist.  As congregations of energy.  Einstein said it himself; E=MC2.  Energy equals mass times time squared.  Don?t ask me about the physics of it.  I have no idea.  But we are all energy travelling through time.  On the map.  Part of the flow.  Connected.  The separation of you and I is myth.  There is no you, no I.  We?re all one.  The waves.  The birds.  The wind, the bugs, the sunlight, the dirt.  Everything.

These aren?t thoughts I was having at my nine to five.  Occasionally, VERY occasionally, I might feel something.  A twinge of connection.  I spark of light.  That momentary feeling that words can?t convey.  A feeling of displacement.  Of connection and disconnection all at the same time.  A disconnection from our preconceived ideas, our here and now, our job, our house, our bank account.  A connection to the flow.  But those moments came and went in flashes.  Gone before being recognized.  Like a brilliant idea that you just can?t remember.  A secret forgotten.  What was that feeling?  Oh well, what was I doing?

Now things have changed.  Now the feeling is coming into focus.  Becoming clear.  Recognizable.  Understandable even.  Now I can feel the flow for what it is.  I awake and feel no I.  No you.  No worry or fear.  No shoulds.  No job, no mortgage, no bank account.  I feel pure, untainted openness.  The vastness of possibility.  I can do anything.  Anything.  I am everywhere, at all times.  One moment I?m in my $1,000-a-night hotel room at a Vegas convention, the next lying under the stars in the desert.  I?m the fisherman in my boat in Indonesia at dawn.  I?m the Native American hunting the caribou when the herds consisted of millions.  I?m a bird flying over the ocean cliffs.  I?m the storm moving in on the village in Nepal one hundred years ago, and I am the monk who sits and waits for it?and he is I.  I exist out of time.  I?m the explorer, the adventurer, the worker, the laborer, the evangelist, the poor, the ridiculously wealthy.  I am everything.  I dissolve into the flow, explode into it.  Allow it to run through me, and me through it.  Become one.  Nothing else matters.  Not even life itself.  The concept of a start and finish has no meaning.  I just am.  I exist.  Within the flow.

Going back to the constructs of our worldly reality doesn?t happen by choice.  Slips and concessions.  My reflection in the laptop screen ? there is I.  I?m here, now.  Time to get moving.  Time to eat.  To do.  But it?s not the same anymore.  The flow is still there.  It hasn?t left.  I haven?t forgotten it.  God help me if I do.  I can?t let go.  Won?t.  It?s where I want to be, need to be.  To exist without it is futile.  To exist without it is to punch the time clock.  To allow the constructs to shape our life.  That finite part of existence that is now.  I will never go back.  Never.  The flow is the only thing that matters.  I have no house, I have no job.  I even have no money.  But I have no fear.  Not in this moment.  Not in the flow.  While I can?t see the map, I can feel it.  I know it?s there.  My path is laid out, there for me to walk, to run, to crawl?to fly.

For now, I am the wind, the sun, the earth.  I am my family.  I am my friends.  I am the other because there is no other.  I am the universe, here and now, and a trillion light years away, all at once.  I am everything.  I am in the flow.  I am in the flow, and I?m never going back, only deeper.  I am the flow.  There is no distinction, no I.  Only the flow.

?and yes, it is good.